WARNING: THIS BLOG IS OF A SENSITIVE NATURE. READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED
Being a single mother or parent can occur in several ways, but is not limited to the following:
Divorce
Break-up
Abandonment
Domestic violence
Adoption
Death of a spouse
Unplanned pregnancy
Unwilling father
Rape
Challenges associated with being a single parent:
Negotiating custody and visitation
Navigating financial issues
Obtaining health care
Finding additional role models
Helping children deal with loss
Helping children understand their family dynamics
Acquiring support in child care
Celie "The colour purple"
Celie is a poor, uneducated black woman with a sad personal history. She survives a stepfather who rapes her, and steals her babies, then survives an abusive relationship. Only her faith in God helps her to maintain form, and transcends all the evil. With LOVE you have everything, without LOVE you have nothing.
Amazing grace
Celie's faith in God, coupled with her consistent prayer, gave her superwoman spiritual strength, that win the battle against all evil
Celie gets brave enough to almost kill her predator. From hunter to the hunted
Celie while working in the field, hears unbearable and desperate screaming from the house
The sister separation
Celie was eventually reconciled with her children
Mary Turner was raped, then lynched for fear that she was carrying a mixed race child
The famous slavery statue of a desperate mother, reaching out her hand, with her last strength, as she is separated from her husband and children. Her life.
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is associated with tangible nightmares, with real voices. This can be set off by smells, music, visual reminders, giving the brain constant, and not allowing you to rest or sleep
WARNING : please do not play the next video if you are of a nervous disposition, or suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
This video contains sounds, and audio that victims hear, smell and feel
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
A LOOK INTO A MIND THAT NEVER SLEEPS
"PLUG IN AND USE HEADPHONES" 8D AUDIO
The pain of a child who witnesses his mother being beaten up, verbally abused then raped is unimaginable. The emotional scar is deep, and is set in the spirit, which can return to haunt the abuser
HAPPY DAY "when Jesus washed, he washed my sins away"
A mothers emotional pain in felt directly by the child
Rape is equal to murder
Michael Douglas and Glenn Close in the movie Fatal attraction
Attraction
Betrayal
Abortion
Attempted suicide
Murder
Truth as he comes clean to his wife and family
They both seemed so innocent, and he was tempted beyond the point of no return
The first of many dramatic dates of a cheating husband, which become horrific in the movie
Michael Douglas's family pet rabbit, which the stalker finally killed
A random visit by the husbands' girlfriend into his own house, introduction to his own wife and family. After this visit, it got real personal
The drama begins, then escalates to verbal and physical abuse, accompanied with attempted suicide. It leads to abortion and near divorce with his real wife and family
Attempted suicide, through unmutual love
Many single mothers are young rape victims
Rape is usually associated with domestic violence, alcohol or drugs, together with other mental illnesses, of a man in a high position who takes advantage of his prey
Never meet a man for the first couple of dates at his residence, a neutral and comfortable setting, in a public venue is important for your safety. Do not become a victim, as the charm can be deceptive.
THE ATTRACTION FATAL, LIKE A BLACK WIDOWS SPIDER WEB, ONCE YOU MAKE A WRONG MOVE, IT WILL POUNCE, YOU WILL BE TRAPPED WITH FATAL CONSEQUENCES
Rape is normally conducted by predators who are less likely to be suspected, by people in high places or society
"The headmaster wants to see you in his office after school"
This is a RED FLAG
A PREDATOR SEEKS FOR OPPORTUNITIES OF VULNERABILITY
WHEN YOUR GUARD IS DOWN
THEY ATTACK
School children are an easy target for members of staff with predator intentions,
It happens so fast, no one around, and when you are most vulnerable
KEEP YOUR WATCH
FOLLOW YOUR GUT
IF IT DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT
IT IS WRONG
IF THE HEADMASTER LOCKS THE DOOR BEHIND YOU, IT IS WRONG
HAVE A FRIEND ACCOMPANY YOU AND WAIT OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE, WITH A PHONE
HAVE YOUR PARENT WAIT OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE
A family member or relative
A boyfriend or ex-boyfriend
A friend or friend of a friend
A teacher or Headmaster, tennis coach or camping supervisor
A babysitter
A priest
A police officer
Any adult who is entrusted to look after children, such as schools
Any place where the children are away from the parents care, protection, and jurisdiction
The victim feels dirtier than ever before. So dirty that no shower or bath can ever clean
After it happens who do you tell
It was just a school camping trip
It was just extra tennis lessons with the coach
It was just my reading teacher
Why me?
To rape is to kill a person
RAPE IS MURDER
Many times, rape victims are left with an unwanted pregnancy, and or sexually transmitted diseases
Tell someone immediately. Your parents, the police, your guardian, your doctor
If you do not tell anyone, all of this will begin to festa inside of your body, then your mind, and your soul
If left undealt with it can lead to death
SEEK HELP OR THE VOICES IN YOUR MIND WILL GET LOUDER
"PLUG IN HEADPHONES" 8D AUDIO
At times, women that are abused do not share their experience with anyone, until it's too late, even to the point of childbirth
WARNING : THE FOLLOWING VIDEO IS OF A SENSATIVE NATURE. THE VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
The mother conceives the child, having carried the pregnancy for nine months. It can come with rejection, resentment any many other complications that are not fully understood
Some victims are young teenagers, who are lucky enough to get help to the point of childbirth, and psychological help and general assistance in dealing with the stigma at hand
As tough as it is, the scenario only becomes worse, as there is no way to tell your child how it came to be.
A child born out of forced circumstances and without LOVE
As time goes on, you begin to heal slightly, enough to find the strength to raise your child with LOVE
"USE HEADPHONES" 8D AUDIO
Many single mothers experience emotional pain and confusion about how others will view them. Although our society has moved toward more liberal views about marriage and parenthood, there are still many who view single mothers in a negative light. Single moms fear being viewed as:
Sexually promiscuous
Carrying too much baggage
Selfish
Unable to meet job demands due to needs of children
A cry for help is the most difficult thing to do in some occasions, so you tend to hold onto the pain, but until you cannot contain it any longer. All this pain, all this dirt, all this hurt
As you move progressively forward, a micro-step every single day, keep the PAST behind you, as you still have a beautiful life ahead of you
Moms today are criticized for being too involved and not involved at all. Moms who work a lot are shamed for missing out on time with their kids while moms who don't work are called lazy. There is no universally accepted vision of what a mom's life looks like. As long as you feel good about your life choices, societal stigmas will be nothing more than someone else's opinion.
Single mothers often struggle with feeling guilty. Some of the most common things moms feel guilty about include:
Taking away the experience of a family with both parents in the same household
Working too much
Missing out on experiences that happen during visitation with the other parent
Dating
Change in income level and lifestyle
The emotions children experience when dealing with separated parents or an uninvolved parent
As human beings, every person is entitled to feel emotions, both good and bad. Guilt in small doses is a sign of your love and can push you to be a better person. However, too much guilt can cause you to isolate, lose yourself, and make poor decisions. If you are feeling overwhelmed by guilt, consider speaking with a professional counselor.
At some point, the desire to have a new romantic relationship will probably come about. Dating when you have children at home poses an extra set of challenges on top of the standard dating concerns. Some questions single moms often ask themselves regarding romantic relationships include:
Will anyone want to date a woman with kids?
How will I make time for a new relationship?
When do I introduce my kids to a potential mate?
What if my kids don't like the person I am dating?
How will my children's father react to my dating life?
We tend to rush
Don't rush, do the small things
A word of affirmation
A kind note to self or others
A simple HUG, can go a very long way
As a woman, you deserve to be loved and appreciated in a romantic relationship. As a mom, it is part of your job to model healthy relationships for your children. Dating is a natural step in life that should be approached with caution and optimism. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to dating as a single parent. Take some time to evaluate your values and comfort levels with the different aspects of dating. Follow your instincts and the right person will come along at the right time.
Moms have a tendency to put themselves last. While this is a noble notion, it can lead to poor health and a negative attitude. Being a single mom is hard work and understandably stressful. It is important to remember the age-old adage, "you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself." This is especially true for single moms who carry the weight of the world. There are many simple ways to relieve stress daily that will not only keep you feeling good, but also make you the best mom you can be.
Keep each other informed of important extra-curricular activities and events.
Stay positive and cordial when speaking in front of your child.
Save difficult discussions for a time when you can speak alone.
Live by the golden rule: treat your child's father as you wish to be treated.
"DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY"
JESUS loves ALL CHILDREN regardless the circumstances, colour, creed or financial status
JESUS loves YOU regardless how you came into this world
JESUS is the WAY THE TRUTH THE LIFE
When you are hurting, Jesus already knows, because he hurts too
When you pray, Jesus prays for you to God
When you are in despair, Jesus died for all your sins, and all you have to is come back to him
When it seems you have lost everything, look to your FAITH in JESUS
YOUR FAITH WILL SET YOU FREE
God will NEVER leave you, he will NEVER forsake you
What is done is done
God wipes your soul
God wipes your body
God wipes your mind
AS WHITE AS SNOW
As soon as you realise that Jesus died for all sinners, including rapists, murdere's, racists, child molesters, and all evil men
Your soul will shine so bright, that your SMILE will bless the world again, and beyond measure
Once you FORGIVE you will be FREE
This, then is how you should pray
GODbless you
GOD comfort you
GOD protect you
GOD make you as white as snow
GOD LOVES you no matter what you've done, you are worthwhile
No matter the most difficult thing you have ever had to do, GOD has forgiven you
It is time to start living your best life
A life FULL OF LOVE
PRAY
WISH
YOUR WISH CAN GO
BUT
IF YOU WISH IT FROM YOUR HEART
IT WILL COME BACK
IT WILL COME TRUE
DREAM
WISH
PRAY
AMEN
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